Sunday, June 6, 2010

Homeschool Rejection

The dark side of homeschooling that many people don't talk about is being rejected by other homeschoolers. It happens. It's not nice. And people feel really, really hurt by it.

How does this happen?

There are many different situations that arise in homeschooling and people/families can be rejected for all sorts of reasons.

1. Excluded because of religious beliefs.

2. Excluded because of method used in homeschooling.

3. Excluded because of parenting style.

4. Excluded because of personality differences.

5. Excluded because your child doesn't fit the ideals of the group.

6. Excluded because someone just doesn't like you and/or your children.

7. Excluded because you are new and not a part of the established group/friend base.

I am sure many of us have felt excluded and rejected in our homeschooling community. It is an awful thing and can happen any time we decide to try something new whether a homeschooling group, co-op, class, playgroup or just general conversation when you are out and about.

What can we learn from this?

We can try to reach out to others and befriend them and learn from the differences rather than reject them. We can be friendly with people who do not do things the way you do them. We can be open-minded. We can share friendship.


Amanda, the Head Nut said...

I've had #7 happen a few times. I'll try to join a homeschool conversation and it's like I'm just invisible and never said a word. Just because people homeschool I used to think they were wholesome and friendly.

Let's just pretend that we intimidate them and they are afraid of our superiority! *tongue-in-cheek*

Amanda, the Head Nut said...

I've seen this happen in public schools, too. Parents pack together, and the teachers pick favorites.

Most of my elementary teachers were inclusive, but from 6th grade on there were several teachers who groomed their favorites and the rest of us were inconsenquential or a bother to them. Just because someone is a P.S. teacher, or even a homeschooler, they can still just plain old not like other people's kids.

Riceball Mommy said...

I feel like I've lucked out a little with my homeschool group. They've been pretty welcoming and friendly. Though I have experienced that rejection at the library story time, my daughter seemed to be the oldest kid there and I was getting some odd looks from parents. We both didn't enjoy the way the story was being told and left early.

Jane said...

I love your post! #1 happens to us ALL the time because I am a muslim who wears a head scarf. Here in Texas most groups are Christian based and require a signed statement of faith, so those are out of the question for us from the get go.... Of the remaining groups, quite a few people look at us askance...

I really want my kids to meet all kinds of people with all kinds of beliefs and am always surprised by how many homeschoolers would rather stick to their own. I guess it's human nature in many ways to shy away from that which we don't understand... but it can sure be a challenge for homeschoolers like me who don't fit the common mold where we live!

Anonymous said...

I have had #2 happen to me (I use a online program ) It seems like if I didnt spend most of my time planning lessons that I was not really "home-schooling" ((rolling eyes)
I have also had # 7 as well...Its not that they were not nice..It was just that they never really let me in..
But ,soon I did find a group I fit in with..Just took a few trys ;)

mimi said...

I am so glad that you posted this! I've had a few of these things happen to me. Being rejected can bring on such discouragement...again,thank you for sharing this.

CloseAcademy said...

I posted this as I was feeling hurt over rejection by a homeschooling club for my daughter. I am glad we were all able to share the pain and move toward a more positive future.

Thank you all so much for reading and stopping by.


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